you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
