I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
