the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
