Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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