But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
two words: eviction party
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
