I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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