I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
