so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
