Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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