I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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