You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
