Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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