I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
