Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize