i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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