i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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