You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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