whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
