is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
