Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
