i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
