We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
