WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
