Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
