would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
