Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
