I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize