Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
