In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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