i just had sex bonerless
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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