i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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