The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
