Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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