whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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