yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
