I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
