I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i now understand why vodka
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
