Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I will die if light touches me.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
