Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
