haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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