oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
