Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
