Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Small penises have feelings too.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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