I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
why do cheetos always look like penises
how do flat chested girls get laid?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
