Well apparently he's into motor boating.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
