I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
