wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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