You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
