I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i used baking grease as lip gloss
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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