He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
