so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
