singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
