im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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