oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
