my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
