She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
