Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
