I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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